Category Archives: Sex Counseling

Is polyamory a bad idea?

Is polyamory a bad idea? Different people have different things they want out of life and out of their intimate relationships. If you strongly desire a monogamous relationship, and are not comfortable with polyamorous relationships, then practicing polyamory is probably not a good idea. If you feel comfortable with multiple sexual or romantic partners, feel […]

Is non monogamy the same as polyamory?

Is non monogamy the same as polyamory? Non-monogamy can be any form of sexual relationship outside of another relationship you may be in. Love does not have to be involved, it can be purely physical. Polyamory means many loves, essentially. It can be a sexual relationship or a non-sexual but emotionally romantic one, and it […]

Can a polyamorous person be in a monogamous relationship?

Can a polyamorous person be in a monogamous relationship? A person that identifies as polyamorous can be in a monogamous relationship if they choose to be. It can be difficult and will require a lot of open communication and flexibility as the poly person may feel they aren’t getting their needs met. A person that […]

How can I be ethically non monogamous?

How can I be ethically non monogamous? Ethical non monogamy is consensual between multiple partners, allowing for and supporting multiple relationships. It is very important that it be open, talked about in depth. It won’t be necessary to keep secrets as communication is key. Apply the same level of common decency, safety, and care to […]

Brief Couples Therapy: What is it, who is it right for and how does it work? All your questions answered.

Brief Couples Therapy: What is it, who is it right for and how does it work? All your questions answered. Some couples don’t need in depth, trauma and emotion focused therapy to heal deep rooted wounds. Sometimes when a couple contacts us for therapy, and they wish to work on communication, this really is all […]

Why do people cheat on people they love?

Why do people cheat on people they love? There are countless reasons for infidelity. Some may feel their reason is as simple as wanting to be accepted, respected, loved, wanted, or praised (the things they likely feel they aren’t getting in their current relationship). Others feel their reasons are more complex and may have to […]

Is it possible to work through infidelity?

Is it possible to work through infidelity? Yes! Many couples state they feel happier, healthier and more satisfied in their relationship after the process of healing from infidelity. Experts say it’s possible for couples to go on to have a happy relationship after infidelity, provided they’re willing to put in the work. … But couples […]

Can a marriage survive infidelity without counseling?

Can a marriage survive infidelity without counseling? If you and your partner are still able to communicate with each other, then surviving infidelity without counseling is definitely possible. There are many self help books around infidelity that may be beneficial for couples to read with the addition or without the addition of therapy.

Does counseling help cheaters?

Does counseling help cheaters? A therapist can help if the couple wishes to save the relationship, or if a person is hoping to heal and move forward. The therapist may call unhealthy relationship patterns into question. These could include codependency, emotional abuse, or repeated affairs. Therapists can help people who have been cheated on work […]

What can COVID teach us about consent?

What can COVID teach us about consent? Its safe to say that COVID has shifted our worlds dramatically. I haven’t met a single person unaffected in one way or another. And while there are many outcomes from COVID and the lockdown, both negative and positive, one that I am beginning to explore with clients is […]

What is a sexless relationship and what can you do about it

In the field of sex therapy and couples counseling,  it is common for a client to ask “Am I in a sexless marriage?” Clients in the therapy room are often trying to understand their relationship dynamics and patterns and want to better understand their sex life. The question, “How much sex should I be having” is […]

Outside the Box Therapy: What does it mean and what can you expect?

We advertise on our counseling website as “Outside the box” mental health therapy. This is something that I believe strongly in professionally and personally. The common Dr. Seuss quote, “Why fit in when you can stand out” fits within this idea. But what can you really expect from this notion? What do we mean when […]

I have a strange fantasy; is there something wrong with me?

This is the question that I so often get asked after the first session in therapy. Many folks, men or women, come into the counseling room and wonder; “why do I enjoy being choked?” or “I can only orgasm when I fantasize about…” Some of the fantasies are more taboo than the others such as […]

Sensate Focus: Healing intervention used in sex therapy modalities

If you have ever talked to me about sex, healing sexual trauma, intimacy or anxiety reduction in sex you have likely heard me make mention of sensate focus. I believe it to be one of the most useful tools or interventions in sex therapy, and in emotional and intimate re-connection. So what exactly is sensate […]