Category Archives: Infedelity

Is polyamory a bad idea?

Is polyamory a bad idea? Different people have different things they want out of life and out of their intimate relationships. If you strongly desire a monogamous relationship, and are not comfortable with polyamorous relationships, then practicing polyamory is probably not a good idea. If you feel comfortable with multiple sexual or romantic partners, feel […]

Is non monogamy the same as polyamory?

Is non monogamy the same as polyamory? Non-monogamy can be any form of sexual relationship outside of another relationship you may be in. Love does not have to be involved, it can be purely physical. Polyamory means many loves, essentially. It can be a sexual relationship or a non-sexual but emotionally romantic one, and it […]

Can a polyamorous person be in a monogamous relationship?

Can a polyamorous person be in a monogamous relationship? A person that identifies as polyamorous can be in a monogamous relationship if they choose to be. It can be difficult and will require a lot of open communication and flexibility as the poly person may feel they aren’t getting their needs met. A person that […]

How can I be ethically non monogamous?

How can I be ethically non monogamous? Ethical non monogamy is consensual between multiple partners, allowing for and supporting multiple relationships. It is very important that it be open, talked about in depth. It won’t be necessary to keep secrets as communication is key. Apply the same level of common decency, safety, and care to […]

Brief Couples Therapy: What is it, who is it right for and how does it work? All your questions answered.

Brief Couples Therapy: What is it, who is it right for and how does it work? All your questions answered. Some couples don’t need in depth, trauma and emotion focused therapy to heal deep rooted wounds. Sometimes when a couple contacts us for therapy, and they wish to work on communication, this really is all […]

I had an affair, the guilt is killing me!

I had an affair, the guilt is killing me!   If you are reading this, I’m guessing you are in the hot box. You may be confused as to how to proceed, what to do next. You’ve had an affair, maybe you have already told your partner about it, maybe you haven’t. But either way […]

The grief paradigm of affairs.

If you have looked up affairs or infidelity on the internet, you have likely gotten an onslaught of information, largely related to how bad the affair partner is, how their moral compass is off, and the oldie but goodie, “once a cheater, always a cheater” nonsense. But if you are the person that had the […]

Holiday Cheer!

The holidays have arrive, and so has holiday stress. If you are like many, the stress of holidays and family can take it’s toll on you and your relationship. As a relationship counselor, I often joke with clients that I could start an entire business based on the stress of the holidays. I get it. […]

Outside the Box Therapy: What does it mean and what can you expect?

We advertise on our counseling website as “Outside the box” mental health therapy. This is something that I believe strongly in professionally and personally. The common Dr. Seuss quote, “Why fit in when you can stand out” fits within this idea. But what can you really expect from this notion? What do we mean when […]

Sensate Focus: Healing intervention used in sex therapy modalities

If you have ever talked to me about sex, healing sexual trauma, intimacy or anxiety reduction in sex you have likely heard me make mention of sensate focus. I believe it to be one of the most useful tools or interventions in sex therapy, and in emotional and intimate re-connection. So what exactly is sensate […]

Affairs, Infidelity, and Cheating: The Misconceptions

I have a fair number of clients who enter into couples counseling after cheating, infidelity or an affair. I am seeing clients more and more who have experienced some sort of infidelity, some physical affairs, some emotional or online affairs, or fantasies. As I browse the internet reading research and recent blog posts I am bombarded with […]

Affair Recovery – Healing from Infidelity

Do you suspect your spouse or partner is having or has had an affair? Or has it recently been disclosed that an affair has happened? This can be one of the most trying and emotionally painful times in a individual or couples lives. Many people have swirling thoughts, confusion, anger, and find themselves feeling very […]