FAQ
When you start your search for counseling in Vancouver and the surrounding towns, you may not know what to expect. Don’t worry. Counseling looks different with each therapist and sometimes even each session. We are creative and eclectic in style and will collaborate with you to meet your needs. You can expect to feel a certain amount of discomfort when attending therapy. Sometimes talking about the hard stuff might even feel worse to begin with. Many clients report a sense of anxiety in anticipation of the first session, followed by a sense of relief after counseling has been initiated. Most clients feel they are ready to work on the challenge they are addressing and find relief in that in a short period of time.
There has been a fair amount of research to help us better understand why therapy works. There are many evidenced-based models that promote increased growth and favorable results, it is ultimately up to each client to determine what they want out of therapy. One aspect (that is correlated strongly with a positive outcome) is our relationship with each client. A strong, warm, compassionate connection to each individual, couple or family that walks through the doors is a primary focus.
There are many therapists offering counseling in Vancouver and the surrounding areas. Before you begin your search, you may want to confirm which type of counseling is a good fit. I often have clients ask, “What kind of counseling is best for me?” There is no easy answer or a one size fits all approach, however there are some factors to consider. With individual counseling you get 100% of the focus. You are able to speak freely, and work through a variety of troubling factors. The downside is you are the only one to do the work and make the changes. Individual counseling might be right for you if you are not able/ready to share your concerns with others around you, or if you wish to focus on aspects such as depression, anxiety, past trauma, gender diverse questions, etc. Couples counseling or relationship therapy is a unique experience in which you can work through relationship specific challenges. Often couples seek out therapy to learn better communication, define relationship roles or expectations, have difficulty finding pleasure in sex or intimacy, or are recovering from infidelity. Family counseling is an effective approach to finding peace within your family system. It is often most beneficial for families in which stress or trauma has led to an increase in conflict and trouble with communication. Family counseling can open up the lines of communication, allow for better insight into each personalty and needs, and heal attachment wounds.
Being a sexologist isn’t as scandalous as the job title might suggest. Sexology is the general term for the scientific study of human sexuality and
sexual behavior, and the people who study it are referred to as sexologists. Some people think sexologists and sex therapists are one and the
same
The goal of sex therapy is to help people move past physical and emotional challenges to have a satisfying relationship and pleasurable sex life.
Sexual dysfunction is common. In fact, 43 percent of women and 31 percent of men report experiencing some type of sexual dysfunction during
their lifetimes
Sexual addiction is a condition in which an individual cannot manage their sexual behavior. … Other terms for sexual addiction are sexual
dependency, hypersexuality, and compulsive sexual behavior. It is also known as nymphomania in females and satyriasis in men.
Sexsomnia, also known as sleep sex, is a distinct form of parasomnia, or an abnormal activity that occurs while an individual is asleep. Sexsomnia
is characterized by an individual engaging in sexual acts while in non rapid eye movement (NREM) sleep
Sexology is the interdisciplinary scientific study of human sexuality, including sexual behaviors, interests and function. A sexologist is a trained
professional who specializes in human sexuality. …
Infidelity
A therapist can help if the couple wishes to save the relationship, or if a person is hoping to heal and move forward. The therapist may call unhealthy relationship patterns into question. These could include codependency, emotional abuse, or repeated affairs. Therapists can help people who have been cheated on work through feelings of self-blame. A therapist can also help the person who participated in infidelity better understand themselves, their motivations and heal the trauma wound.
If you and your partner are still able to communicate with each other, then surviving infidelity without counseling is definitely possible. There are many self help books around infidelity that may be beneficial for couples to read with the addition or without the addition of therapy.
Yes! Many couples state they feel happier, healthier and more satisfied in their relationship after the process of healing from infidelity. Experts say it’s possible for couples to go on to have a happy relationship after infidelity, provided they’re willing to put in the work. … But couples who do decide to separate after an affair can still benefit from therapy, especially if they have children.
There are countless reasons for infidelity. Some may feel their reason is as simple as wanting to be accepted, respected, loved, wanted, or praised (the things they likely feel they aren’t getting in their current relationship). Others feel their reasons are more complex and may have to do with a kink identity or polyamory identity. The reasons vary from person-to-person, sometimes it is helpful to understand the reason and other times it is helpful to focus more on the future.
Polyamory
Ethical non monogamy is consensual between multiple partners, allowing for and supporting multiple relationships. It is very important that it be open, talked about in depth. It won’t be necessary to keep secrets as communication is key. Apply the same level of common decency, safety, and care to a non-monogamous partner as you would anyone else, and expect the same consideration in return.
A person that identifies as polyamorous can be in a monogamous relationship if they choose to be. It can be difficult and will require a lot of open communication and flexibility as the poly person may feel they aren’t getting their needs met. A person that identifies as monogamous can be in a poly relationship with deep understanding, trust and communication without ever participating in polyamoroury themselves.
Non-monogamy can be any form of sexual relationship outside of another relationship you may be in. Love does not have to be involved, it can be purely physical. Polyamory means many loves, essentially. It can be a sexual relationship or a non-sexual but emotionally romantic one, and it still counts as polyamory.
Different people have different things they want out of life and out of their intimate relationships. If you strongly desire a monogamous relationship, and are not comfortable with polyamorous relationships, then practicing polyamory is probably not a good idea. If you feel comfortable with multiple sexual or romantic partners, feel you are a very strong communicator, and value trust and honesty in relationships, you may wish to explore consensual non monogamy.